We will all eventually have our turn – growing old, hoping that we still find compassion and understanding while maintaining some independence. Sounds so simple, but it can get very complicated just standing by helplessly while a loved one is struggling. Before jumping in, remember that they have been “in charge” for a long time. So be delicate. Here are some tips on intervening gently:

 

• The word “doctor” or “professional” carries a lot of weight. So if there is a health issue or even a driving issue, consider enlisting the help of a doctor or professional in confronting the problem.
• A financial professional may be helpful in dealing with money issues – simple budgeting issues, taking over bill paying, or giving investment recommendations. Your parents might be more receptive to hearing a professional suggest you take over their bill-paying, rather than having it come directly from you.
• Consider consulting an Elder Care Attorney who can help address complex legal concerns that are probably different from what your parents faced when they were younger. Concerns such as:
  • durable powers of attorney
  • living trusts
  • nursing home issues, such as questions of patients’ rights and nursing home quality
  • elder abuse and fraud recovery cases
  • means of delegating management and decision-making to another in case of incompetency or incapacity

Start the conversation with a gentle touch. Expect some reluctance. Having more than one voice in dealing with difficult issues may be a wise choice. Children getting together as a group, joining with a clergyperson or family friend, may keep family harmony. Being on watch and getting a conversation started may be the best way to protect the ones you love.

CATEGORY: Personal Finances | January 3rd, 2018 | BY: Neal Pettinelli